If someone asked you,” Who are you?” would you be ready and able to provide a clear and detailed description of yourself? What if they asked “What do you want?” would that be easy to answer or would you find yourself stumped and struggling to tell your story or paint a picture in the mind of your questioner leaving them without any doubts about who were  and what you wanted. If you are unable to answer without a little thought and reflection, you are not alone.

The answer to both questions challenges us to dig deep into the core of your personal strengths, passions, and dreams. Our search for an answer forces us to break through any congestion of the imagination and helps us to start living our best and life. Think back to when you were a child, you had big vivid dreams of what you wanted to do, be, strive to become. As a child you may have been held back by your age, lack of experience, education, your parents…but now, you are an adult apparently free to do as you please. Are you who you imagined you would be when you grew up?

Figuring out who you are and what you want starts with a clear description and connection to your strengths, passions, and dreams. You have to know what you are capable of, what you love to do and most importantly where you are going. Your destination in life needs to be clear. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland helped me realize how important it is to know your destination before you set out on your journey. 
 

“Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where—” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“—so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
(Lewis Carroll)

Alice will arrive somewhere, but is it the destination she had in mind at the beginning of her journey? If we wander aimlessly through life we are sure to arrive somewhere, but is it where we intended to go. When we take the time to define who we are then what we want tends to show up. You can have your best life and become who you want to be starting with knowing where you are going and adjusting your course along the way. 
 

Those who are experiencing their best life started with a clear destination they took time to figure out who they are, and learn more about themselves with every experience. To get you started on your journey toward discovery reflect on the following questions:
 

• What is something important in life that you are forgetting? What might the people who love you say?
• If you are assured to be a success, what would you change in your life right now?
• In the past year what family activities did you enjoy most, work activities, personal activities and why?
• How and when do you take time to reflect about your destination in life?

 I have entered that phase in my life where I have started to reflect upon the legacy I want to leave behind. When I reach the end of my life, I want to be able to say, “I am gald I did” and not “I wish I had”. My intention in writing about the end of life is not to be morbid, but to be real and understand that someday each of our lives will end.

The passing of my grandfather at the prime old age of 95 has inspired my thoughts and reflection. My grandfather lived a long healthy life coming full circle and passing on his exact birthday, March 31, 2011. Although it was sad to say good-bye, he left my family and I with many great memories, pictures, and memorabilia each allowing us to keep him close to our hearts. 

As my grandpa and I spent his last days together, I could not help but wonder how he was feeling about the life he had lived. I wondered if he realized the memories he had left with our family or the significant moments we all shared and loved. As I sat by his bedside, I also began to wonder what my last days would look like. Who would be there surrounding me with love, support, safety, and confidence that it was ok to move on to the next phase of life. The end of our life is not typically something we want to think about, but something we need to consider because it is at that moment that nothing else really matters and the legacy of our life comes alive.

Sitting with my grandpa reflecting upon life made me realize that I need to engage in life in a meaningful way living each moment to the fullest. I not only want to live a long healthy life I want to live life as someone who cares, someone who has made  an impact upon the lives of others. Because at the end of life it is not about wealth, material possessions, or accomplishments it is about the way people remember you and the difference you made in their lives. 

Close your eyes for a few minutes and image it is your 95th birthday. Your family, friends, children, and grandchildren are there with you, what are they saying about you? What are you feeling about the life you have lived? Are you able to say, “I am glad I did” or “I wish I had”. Remember this, you will never have more time than you do right now. Life is short, death is long.

Don’t be afraid to think about the end of life, it is inevitable and out of our control. Wake up each day and make life meaningful. Live it, breathe it, taste it, smell, it feel it! Don’t just live the length of life, live the width of it as well (D.Ackerman).

Where Will You Be Five Years from Today

Have you ever wondered where you will be five years from today? It may be time to decide what is next in your life and create a strategy to get it. If you have dreamt about something you want in life but have not taken action to make it happen, it will just remain a dream. If you write your dream down on paper, it then becomes a goal and you can make your dream come true.

Did you know that people who write their dreams down transforming them into real life goals earn nine times more over their lifetime than people who just continue to dream. Did you know that 80% of Americans say they don’t have goals and of the 16%, who do, only 4% write them down and less than 1% actually reviews their goals on a regular basis? If you have a dream, write it down, commit to what you want for your life, and start to create a strategy to get it. Albert Einstein said “Your imagination is the preview to life’s coming attractions”.

As you dream use your imagination, allow all of your senses to take you to the place you want to go. Visualize achieving your goals, experience the joy and happiness you will feel, where will you be, who will surround you, how will it look, feel, smell. Be specific and clearly describe the details of your dream. The clearer and more vivid you can describe your dream the easier it will be to achieve.

Life is about balance, so as you dream and start to write all the details down on paper make sure you have balance within your lifetime goals. Over the next five years, ensure that your goals involve balancing as many spokes on the wheel of life as possible. As your life evolves, pay attention to and seek balance in family, relationships, career, health, adventure, education, financial, spiritual, and charitable areas of life.

Dream big and stay positive. Remember anything is possible. Dreaming big can feel intimidating so break it down into bite-sized pieces. (A friend once told me she could only eat cauliflower one small bite at a time. It took awhile but she achiever her goal). Chunk it down! Surround yourself with people who believe in you. Don’t allow others to discourage you or tell you who you are.  Create a list of all the reason why your dream is possible and will come true.

Life is happening now so don’t get stuck in the someday dream. Someday may never arrive and every day counts. Do the math and figure out where you are in your life’s journey. Multiple your age by 365 (that is your current age in days) subtract that number from 27,375 (the average life span) and see how many days you have left. Now are you ready to dream big and create the strategy to get to where you want to be in five years!!

I hope this blog, will in some way, allow me to share the knowledge and wisdom I have with you, guiding you toward the discovery of your life’s meaning and the formula for your individual peace and acceptance. My goal is for those who read this blog to move to a higher level of self-awareness. My hope is that there is a discovery of self and a renewed level of comfort with who you are.

Have you ever felt like your life was passing by so quickly you could not get a hold of it? Have you had the feeling that you were in the eye of the hurricane uncomfortably watching all of the experiences of your life swirling around you in a blur of confusion? The eye of the storm may be calm, but from the inside, looking out it is a swirling mass of debris caught in a chaotic tailspin. It is the junk of our lives spinning about us with no order, clarity, or direction.

It was the year 2007 and I felt as though the pace of my life had instantly doubled and I was all of a sudden in a race against time to start living life with purpose. With purpose, you may be asking. Well, my belief is that we each have a reason for being. We each have strengths and talents, that make us unique and when we tap into what our purpose or reason for being is, life is more fulfilling and meaningful.

Each person’s purpose is unique and provides a gift to others. It can present itself by way of teaching, learning, knowledge, skill, or wisdom. Some may have a purpose of sharing life experiences that will teach others what they need to learn. Our purpose is the driving force within that makes all seem right with the world. If you are not living your life with purpose you may feel stuck in the eye of the hurricane, a mere passive observer of the swirling chaos of your life experience, not able to see beyond the blur or make sense of what it all means.

There are important components to living life with purpose. First, and in my opinion most significant, is that we need to be doing something that is an extension of who we are. Many of us are not aware of who we are so where do we start? All of us are pre-wired with certain strengths, weaknesses, skills, characteristics, and personality traits each defining who we are. There are certain things that come naturally and other things feel awkward, drain our energies, and leave us feeling unsatisfied. Assessing our strengths, identifying activities that draw us in and energize us, and recognizing areas that we learn and grow without much effort will guide us toward our purpose.

I come to realize, after much searching, that my purpose is to be of service to the world and to teach other people what I have learned from my experiences. My purpose is to empowered others to feel more balanced in their lives and to live a more meaningful and peaceful existence. I ask people thought provoking questions that inspires internal inquiry. I encourage people to move outside of their comfort zones and think beyond the box helping them to achieve the things they thought they could not.

In order get a really solid handle on what leadership coaching was and gain an understanding of how it could benefit a leader and his/her organization I researched over 75 books on leadership, read 500 peer-reviewed articles, 10 published dissertations, and explored numerous websites. Before I followed my passion of leadership development, I needed to know if this fast growing profession really was effective. I needed to know, without a doubt, that leadership coaching was a successful develop tool that would transform leaders from ordinary to extraordinary.

What I found was that organizational change had a significant impact on executive leadership roles and responsibilities; causing organizational leaders to re-evaluate the development strategies they implemented to maintain successful leadership in complex business environments.

At the beginning of the 21st century, organizational leaders discovered leadership coaching as a strategy that enhanced performance and greatly expanded the potential of current leaders. The profession of leadership coaching has flourished in the past decade, engaging all levels of leaders in personalized coaching sessions focused on improving leadership skills and enhancing personal and professional performance. Professional coaches have helped leaders improve deficient skills, increase performance, and guide the development of leaders for future leadership roles.

In my experience as a professional leadership coach, I have found that the research was right leadership coaching does elicit significant and long-lasting results for leaders and organizations.